PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Sydney Uni - 3rd July 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Pagewood - 26th June 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Pagewood - 26th June 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Glebe - 24th June 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Glebe - 24th June 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Phoenix - 19th June 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Phoenix - 19th June 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Waverley - 14th June 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Lokomotiv Cove - 12th June 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Ireland - 15th May 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Ireland B - 15th May 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Mascot Kings - 8th May 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Mascot Kings - 8th May 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Sydney University - 1st May 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Sydney University - 1st May 2010

PL Reserves: Pagewood vs Coogee United - 24th April 2010

PL 1st: Pagewood vs Coogee United - 24th April 2010

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Dunbar - 18th April 2010

PL Reserves: Dunbar vs Coogee United - 17th April 2010

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Sydney Uni - 3rd July 2010

CUFCR 2-0 Syd Uni

With a severe bout of man flu making it's way through the CUFC ranks it was amazing to actually field a team for the reserve grade match vs the students this weekend. How ironic that the majority of those missing had been lubing themselves up with olive oil just a 158 hours earlier. Curtis was out west supposedly at a winery in Dubbo or Wagga although apparently there were some country racing meets taking place on Saturday and he was last seen walking out of the Randwick dry cleaners with a suit on Friday afternoon.

Having won the previous 2 games CUFC arrived at Heffron full of confidence, so much so that Hale put himself forward for the "accessory of the year" award with a dashing red sweatband addition. One can only think he took inspiration from the dreadful, dull Scottish Andy Murray the night before. Needless to say this helped ensure the warm up carried a level of entertainment that Scottish Murray could not provide a few hours earlier.

The team talk was more about whether or not to take the wind option first half. The debate went on for a good 10 minutes with Pykey and Jappy having to be separated by Hale's sweatband before a mass brawl broke out. Much to the relief of everyone Jappy lost the toss for the 11th time in a row and the Students gave us the favourable conditions to start. The line-up was as follows;

In goals, making his first but definitely not his last appearance was Niall (the Cat) supported by Jappy, Phil, Pykey, Luke, Dash, Jezza, big Jimmy, Hale, Finchy and Haysey. Silvio was our one and only replacement.

Unlike our last effort against the school kids CUFCR started brightly with the simple build up play running rings around the fit youngsters. Niall likened his first half to his last few weeks in South Africa, as a spectator. CUFCR created many half chances but the thing that let us down was composure in front of goal. Desperate to take advantage of the wind there were plenty of shots flying well off target from outside the box.

The closest we went to scoring was when Phil's raging run from centre back was spotted by Jimmy. He crossed / shot across goal and in a replay of Gazza vs Germany Euro 2000 Finchy's outstretched limb was just short of converting. Big Jimmy picked up a yellow card for handbags with a short fat student just before the halftime whistle was blown, the student got detention.

Halftime talk from the gaffer was more of the same but more patience in front of goal. Jappy came down with the team man flu and was replaced by Silvio. It had nothing to do with him arriving in shorts, t-shirt and things at a 11 degree Heffron. Hale was still wearing his sweatband.

Confidence was still high at the start of the 2nd half and this was replicated in the 'keep ball' style of football that is slowly becoming associated with CUFCR. Only Hayesy throttling yet another small aggressive pupil threatened to spoil the party. With their first real attack of the game a SUNI midfielder found himself one on one with our new 'stand-in' keeper Nialler. With a save right from the books of Gordon Banks Niall not only kept CUFCR alive but could well keep his place in the team for the rest of the season. Let's hope Curtis backed the $23 winner in the 3.15 at Wagga.

That proved to be the students only real chance in the game and with a new found confidence in their last man CUFCR started to create more openings. Finchy was played clean through by somebody and in true reflection of his return to form the Horse powered home a finish to the bottom right corner. 1-0. Uni heads dropped and in one case was nearly taken clean off by a Pykey boot as Coogee maintained the greater share of possession. And, with 5 minutes left on the clock Finchy was played clean through again. Coolness personified as he beat the keeper, celebrated and then scored his second. 2-0.

CUFC were winning all the battles around the park as all players supported their mates with some great tackling, tracking back, positive encouragement etc etc. Good to see the spirit of last season returning. Haysey, Pykey and Jimmy all played on with injuries the latter even returning to a centre forward role, last played in the 1998 Swansea Uni game.

Another victory for boys in black and white. Is there still hope for the comeback of all comebacks? The neutrals would love to see it.

Final score - CUFCR 2-0 Syd Uni
Goals - Finchy 68, Finchy 85
Attendance - 67 including 'Gaffer in waiting' Roman "I've always got my boots on" Lenio.
MOM - the tall lad in the middle of the park
Yellows - as above plus Haysey
Discussion point for training - What will Hale wear next week? And where the hell was everyone at the CBH?

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Pagewood - 26th June 2010

Coogee United 3-2 Pagewood
Venue: Heffron
Line up: Damo, Robbie, Jake P, Phil L, Gudg, Chris, Redders, Jake F, Oran, Jools, Matty
Subs: Luke, Dash, Jason, Belch
Missing: Roman, Stevie H

Coogee found themselves back on the pitch following a win on Thursday night, Pagewood were this weekends visitors along with their usual army of supporters. A lively and open game resulted in Coogee making it two from two wins in the space of a few days. Both results ending in entertaining 3-2 victories. There was some pre match talk about Jason's eager return, the World cup and mainly Mr World cup costumes, waxes, spray tans and favourites to take out the 2010 title.

The gaffer made a tactical change with a new look formation and several positional changes the most notable Phil L moved back into centre half, Chris moved into a holding CM role and Robbie the 'team player' moving back to right full back.

Pagewood took out the honours at Jellicoe early in the season after having one shot on goal and they started this game brightly. Coogee were taking time to adapt to the new formation but soon started playing the better brand of football.

Coogee took the lead through Matty Groth, scoring his third goal in two games. Pagewood failed to clear their lines from a corner, Gudg played a ball to Oran wide left, the Irish man whipped in a cross which Matty glanced over the keeper. 1-0 Coogee, Pagewood army silenced.

Pagewood continued to lump balls forward with the wind behind them and on occasions stretched Coogee's new look formation, Jake P and big Phil were marshalling the defence and dealing with all headers. Pagewood did pick up a equaliser after a great finish from the edge of the box, Damo beaten in his top corner despite getting a hand on the ball, 1-1 - Pagewood army erupt on the day out.

Coogee picked themselves up and took a hold of the game, playing some good football in the process. Redders got his fifth goal of the season after Oran played an excellent cross field ball - left to right, Redders with alot to do headed the ball past Pagewoods full back, burnt past him and coolly slotted home past the onrushing keeper (who had removed his sunglasses by now) 2-1 Coogee, a still growing Pagewood army silenced again.

The visitors almost equalised immediately after a mazy run saw their midfield man cut back across Damo, Coogee's defence cleared the danger and we went into the sheds with the lead.

Half Time:
I caught the half time talk on tape - by John D (please read it to yourself in a Scottish accent) " Good to be 2-1 up, fu****g Pagewood are alright, fu****g, hey. They'll come at us second half, fu**. Right, hey no changes just now. Lets get the wee man in the game, f***king pace to burn. Damo, hey. Ok "Jake keep going down the left it will come. Erm right, what else, fu***ing Jake P keep it tight, keep talking Jake, do you understand? - We canne have that clever boy running through, fu**ing. Oh, Oran, hey Jools keep going son. "Boys this is a crucial three points, fu****g keep it up, alright and move the ball side to side. "Seaman (Belch) keep warm, alright. Lets go lads, fu***king. Hey Rayme fill those water bottles up"

Second Half:
Coogee started the half in a lively manner playing with the wind and really should have been three one up through several players after numerous chances were wasted. Matty had a great chance after slipping, he quickly jumped to his feet and was unlucky not to score. Oran's saw the headlines, attempting a bicycle kick - bold attempt that sadly flew out for a thrown in.

Chris took a couple of crunching tackles playing at right back, Robbie moved to centre mid whilst upsetting a few faces. Oran and Jake F linked up down the left winning a Coogee corner. Matty played it short to Redders who pinged in a perfect cross, Jake F rose highest and in front of the keeper to put Coogee 3-1 up. Page wood army devastated.

Chris was replaced by a kid in a candy shop. Gudg then pulled up injured, Luke's sleep was interrupted and he was called upon to fill in at left back, having played 90 minutes already. Jake Flower almost made it four but his left footed shot banged down off the cross bar. Oran battled his nuts off down the left and got away from his man, after cutting back Matty had a ping just wide.

A scuffle went off in the centre circle as Pagewood became frustrated. The refs conclusion was to send off Pagewoods forward and book Robbie. Pagewood army angered, some verbal's started and were aimed at the ref and Rob. Robbie almost found himself on the score sheet, following a good run and cross from Jools but his scuffed shot failed to work the keeper. Pagewood pulled back a goal to make it 3-2.

Jas got a vital header in as Coogee protected their lead until the whistle blew.

Goals: Matty 19, Redders 33, Jake F 68
MOM - Well done to Oran again, confirmed.
Attendance - 124 mainly away fans on a jolly boys outing.
MR WCUP Winner - Mr Ireland (Does he get cinema tickets for this too?)
Note: If you wish to go to the cinema, Oran has 24 spare tickets, maybe swing by the CBH for a few jugs of beer pre movie. No I'm not jealous.

Oran in top form is now running away with it, 88 points followed by Redders with 60. Jake P doing the defence proud in third with 55.

NICK BM picking up points at rapid rate, Finchy doing well for a late starter. No red cards all season to date.

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Pagewood - 26th June 2010

CUFC 5-1 Pagewood

The forecast rain that had threatened the possibility of spending all day in the pub promoting the evening shenanigans fortunately stayed away. It was a perfect lunchtime at Heffron and CUFCR arrived in confident mood after their first victory of the season earlier in the week. Haysey announced he had spent most of the night on the throne. Rumours that he was seen still celebrating France's departure at Scruffy Murphy's at 9am began to circulate. With Angus and Jimmy LC attending the under 21 topless netball trans-Tasman cup we were down to 12 including the now slightly green Haysey.

A few of the team were looking nervous about what was ahead of them. It was a chance to shine, a chance to make a difference and an opportunity to really stand up and be counted. Fortunately Lukey calmed the nerves by asking everyone to forget about Mr World and focus on the game.

Line up: Curtis, Silvio, Jappy, Pykey, Lukey, Dash, Jez, big Jimmy, Hale, Finchy and big Nick.
On the bench / toilet: Haysey

Just before kick-off it was clear to see that Hale had taken to heart the comments during the week relating to 'toys' and 'pram' and 'throwing out of'. "Everyone smile, everyone smile, come on, I wanna see everyone smile today" (as he said aggressively with a frown on his face). Smile we did, and right from the kick off it was obvious Hale will be making the pre-game speeches moving forward as CUFCR dominated early possession.

Switching from left to right, right to left etc the ball was coming in from the wings almost as regularly as Haysey was seen 'ducking off'. The midfield were commanding, Jez back to his best in his favoured central spot and Jimmy somehow defying the odds after getting home at 3.30am, again. Finchy and Nick's partnership upfront is getting better and better each week and they were linking up well with the wide men in Hale and Dash.

It is at this point that special mention should go out to Dash who officially came out of retirement this week. Guinness have confirmed that this does qualify as the shortest retirement ever, just ahead of Danny Green. Welcome back Dash, we missed you.

Defensively we were looking very organised with Pykey clearing up any threats and Jappy bringing his usual calming influence into the game. Silvio and Lukey provided the outlet for Curtis in between him reading 23 chapters of 'Events, I did it my way'. Despite the dominance it suddenly looked like a shock was on the cards as Pagewood hoofed another ball forward which their left winger latched onto. Some unfortunate slips by defenders was followed by a well taken finish but the Pagewood crowd were embarrassed to take a 1-0 lead.

In previous weeks this could have been the beginning of the end but Coogee were determined to not be part of the '15% of teams that go behind come back to win' (quote Craig Foster last night as he was squinting in the worst located studio of all WC coverage). Within 5 minutes a corner was expertly curled in from Lukey and Finchy climbed the highest only for his header to come back off the bar. Lukey was at the heart of the next move too as he sent a great ball to the far post. Big Nick calmly took the ball down and slotted with aplomb. 1-1 and a few more half chances went begging before the half time whistle went. Pagewood were delighted to get off the park for a rest.

The second half started in similar fashion to the first with Coogee dominating possession across the park. Pagewood tried their usual tactic of trying to 'upset' the play and their opponents but we have seen this all before. A free kick for a blatant elbow resulted in a ball being lofted into the box, and after a few deflections Dash showed the balls of a man determined to show he was not 'past it' scoring a brave header in his first game back from retirement. Looking forward to the headlines in the Coogee Echo about that one.

This seemed to lift the confidence again and after big Jimmy robbed a Pagewood midfielder Finchy showed he was back to his best with a cool finish from the resulting one on one. Pagewood were gone and Coogee were now back to the standard of 2009. Jez picked the ball up 30 yards from goal and despite at least 13 CUFCR players wanting the ball Jez continued to hold it, hold it, hold it before unleashing a strike that confused the keeper (Jabalani?). The look on the Kiwi's face as he scored can only be described as, well, Simon Elliot.

With the game now stretched in a similar fashion to Finchy's Argentina shirt later that night the man himself grabbed a well deserved 5th to wrap up the game. A stunning victory for CUFCR, one that has been coming since game 1. Many of the Sydney Uni players have been found searching for last minute getaways on Webjet in a bid to get out of next week's game. Bring it on.

Goals - Finchy 2, big Nick, Dash, Elliot
Attendance - 87 including 3 A League agents rumoured to be making a late bid for Dash
MOM - Gaffer to confirm?

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Glebe - 24th June 2010

Thursday 24th June, Coogee Prems 3-2 Glebe Prems
Venue: Little Bay, under limited light.
Line up: Damo, Belch, Chris, Jake P, Gudge, Robbie, Jools, Oran, Jake F, Redders, Matty.
Subs: Phil L, Nick BM, Luke
Club Ambassadors: Curtis, playing the David Beckham role. Reports of Jimmy Whiteford tapping up the Hockey girls with Mr World Cup flyers.

Disclaimer: No offence is intended in this report, individuals must be strong. It's one of the few perks writing match reports...

Scrappy 3-2 win for Coogee and Slovakia

The prems followed on from where the Ressies left off on Tuesday night, securing a battling 3-2 win. It was great to witness so much support from the Ressies, only 2/3 not making it down, I won't name and shame you as you know who you are! Coogee started very brightly under the not so bright lights and Jake F won a free kick after some strong work down the left flank. Up stepped captain Weldrick, he whipped in a dangerous cross - so dangerous it flew over the hapless Glebe keeper and into the net, putting Coogee 1-0 up within 10 minutes. If he tells you he meant it, he's probably bending the truth. Good to get an early lead but Glebe came back fighting.

Glebe, a former force in this league were playing some decent football through the middle with a couple of clever players giving Jools / Oran a match in midfield, it's surprising to see Glebe at the bottom end of the table. Damo in nets was dealing with some tricky balls skidding in and around the box. The game was pretty open, both Matty and Redders had pings on goal that missed the target before Matty scored a bizarre goal. Here is my recollection of Coogee's second goal. A great cross from the right came in Matty skittled the keeper over, play on said the man in yellow (used to be black) Glebe defender punted it off the line, however Matty charged the clearance down, finishing his goal with a fore-arm smash. The man in yellow signalled goal, 2-0 Coogee 29 minutes in. You have to take these moments of luck.

A first half substitution was needed, Belch departed clutching his groin as he looked on to Mr World Cup this Saturday, Spain's finest model - Phil Link entering his second game in as many days. Chris shifted into right back, Robbie CM, Redders RM and Oran back upfront. Glebe continued to threaten from distance and the Coogee back line was not looking as solid as Saturday just gone. With half time approaching, Glebe pulled back a scrappy goal of their own after a bit of ping pong in the box, a scuffed shot rolled past Damo. 2-1.

Half Time: JD - a bit annoyed at an ordinary first half performance and for giving Glebe a life line conceding that goal. No sign of the 3 ressie players not supporting, disappointing. Redders, suffering from sleep deprivation due to world cup antics took a quick 3 minute power nap on Rayme's knee.

Second Half:

Glebe pressed early trying to force an equaliser but Coogee remained resilient enough. Although Coogee were making hard work of this game, chances were still being created and it was case of getting a third goal to kill the game off. At the back Jake and Phil were winning plenty of headers and Chris/Gudge were now getting more involved down both flanks as the game opened up. Gudg thought he saw Hale appear on the sideline and started screaming at him for supporting with a hint of banter, it was Jimmy Whiteford though. Damo was upsetting the Glebe faithful with some apparent time wasting, they obviously don't understand his fitness is down and he didn't fancy chasing lost balls, the ref warned him to get on with it. Jake F lined up a free kick from 25 yards, we fancied him with that potent left foot - he struck goal wards and it narrowly sailed over Heffron Park.

The third goal finally came, Oran produced some fantastic Irish dancing down the left beating two men and cutting the ball back for Gudg on the 18 yard box, Gudg delivered a delightful first time cross.......... really amazing actually, forget about Oran's part in this goal, picking out an unmarked Matty who headed home with his head this time - not his arm. Good finish 3-1 Coogee. TAB's Mr World fav for 2010 - Nick BM on for the double goal scorer, Robbie woke Redders up for the final 15 minutes. Coogee should have seen this result out but in the final five minutes the ref awarded Glebe a penalty, not quite sure what for to be honest. Damo dived like an Italian international (really well) though got as close to the ball as Ireland did the World Cup, 3-2. Coogee then had to play out a tense five minutes securing another crucial 3 points.

Crowd: 78
Yellows - Matty
Goals: Oran 9, Matty 29, 74
MOM - Oran - John has confirmed for the record.

Other news around the club: Jake Peacock's squeaky clean disciplinary record this season has reaped the rewards. Jake has been asked by the English FA to mentor and educate Wayne Rooney on keeping his temper in check during the rest of the world cup, the Germans are reportedly going to target Wayne on Sunday.

Jake commented "I am delighted you know, Wayne and I are from the same part of England and you need a certain degree of anger to survive all the hard knocks, by the time he's my age and I've finished with him he'll be an absolute angel"

Dash-Anelka refused comment with the rumour mill circulating following his updated face book profile:

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Glebe - 24th June 2010

The big day didn't start well. At 3pm an email is circulated asking members of the club if they had any idea where half our kit was. Rumours were rife that Haysey, Niall and Damo had swapped shirts with Phoenix at the final whistle on Saturday in a moment of Irish camaraderie. Gudge was quick to re-assure us that he had 'a few spares' in amongst the first grade bag. Quickly realising that there was huge potential for an unwashed shirt big Jimmy offered Kiwi Jez a lift to the ground on the proviso he could have a clean one and get some tips on self photography. Nothing worse than potentially bumping into a random young hockey player (female) at Little Bay in an unwashed shirt.

CUFCR didn't need any last minute hiccups on what was a vital day for the club. It was a bottom vs bottom clash of titanic proportion. Surely the Minor Premiers of last year would not hit rock bottom a mere 9 months later?

After a short delay due to a new lake installed at Little Bay the game kicked off with the following line up;

Line up: Nick 'I know where the penalty area is' Curtis, Silvio 'I really don't need a surname with these skills', Phil 'Where the hell am I going to hang things tonight', Craig 'I heart CUFC' Japp, Luke 'I never felt a drop of pressure' Di Michiel, Jez 'it was only the 23rd attempt of a self portrait' Macleod, Jimmy 'I'll beat anyone over 5m' Whiteford, Dave 'I'm not passing to that young French right winger we have' Hayes, Daniel 'give me back my dummy' Hale, Nick 'do you really think I'm the favourite on Saturday' Barnett-Moore, Ian 'will I get my voice back for Saturday night?' Finch.

Replacements: Gaz 'Jimmy, Haysey, in fact, anyone, are you sure you are right to play on?' Arnstein, Angus 'was that my WAG's last appearance?' Boyd, Daniel 'did he really say, "don't worry about me" at half time?' Ashley and Jimmy 'I tell you boys, my time will come' LC.

It was a bright start to the game under lights and both teams were clearly keen to avoid the wooden spoon in 2010 with tackles flying in everywhere. The quality of the football left a lot to be desired but as New Zealand and Australia have shown on a number of occasions, a result is still possible. Glebe's game plan was clear, hit it to Crouchy up front, harass CUFCR and hit it to Crouchy up front. To be fair they did this reasonably well and CUFCR struggled a little to get their rhythm. Fortunately the defence stood firm and for once the ball seemed to bounce our way in the crucial moments. Big Nick was holding the ball well up front and both wingbacks were beginning to threaten. Finchy got on the end of a ball down the flank and whipped in a great cross only for the keeper to palm away for a corner at the death.

Just as the crowd (missing a number of key absentees who must have been at ES Marks with Oran) were pouring their Tomato soup's (yes Jake, we saw you) and getting ready to cheer a 0-0 half time score line, Silvio 'scorched' down the right flank with a tumultuous run and knocked a 2m pass to big Nick. Nick beat his man inside, ducked past another, didn't lay it off to big Jimmy and then hit a left foot pearler from all of 30 yards. In similar style to a free kick against Glebe last year the keeper had no chance with this candidate for goal of the season. Nick celebrated with a run towards the touchline, tomato soup went everywhere.

A slight scare just before the break as an innocuous through ball was chased by Crouchy only for Curtis to nip in just in time and 'just' inside his area. Curtis was about to try and drown the linesman in the new Little Bay lake only to realise the whistle was for half time, relief all round. Oh yes and Phil nearly (or should we unfortunately didn't quite) choke the 'Johnson' that was the number 23 to death.

Determination was the theme of the team talk. It was going to be a battle to win this game but we had the upper hand for a change on the score sheet. The gaffer was psyched and so were the team to get the job done. Gazza had a quiet word with big Jim about whether he was ok, then Haysey, then Jez, then the ref. Jappy almost ripper his heart out and stapled it to his sleeve.

The second half started in similar scrappy fashion but Phil was taking care of Crouchy safe in the knowledge that this was their only threat. Out of the blue their number 23, with his shorts pulled up high, finally stole a yard on the athlete that is big Jimmy. The big man did get the tackle in but only managed to kick the ball onto his boot and the ball swerved around Curtis. 1-1, can't wait to play against him again. It was cue for the entrance of Gazza.

Gazza brought his fresh legs into the game and looked a threat going forward as CUFCR started to take a hold on the game. Dash replaced Jez and Gus replaced Finchy to add further fresh legs to the team. Glebe were running out of ideas other than the big hoof to Crouchy but Phil had his measure and on occasion his head. Haysey went close to another great goal with the keeper just tipping over from long range. One scary moment came as the big striker managed to catch a clearance which then put him clear on goal. He stopped, the game stopped but the ref didn't. He was clean through on goal and only 'the save of the season' from Curtis with an out stretched leg stopped Glebe taking a lead.

This seemed to provide the inspiration needed as crosses began to pound the Glebe box. Angus was harrying the defenders and big Nick was coming more into the game Coogee were looking the stronger of the two army's. Then came the master stroke from stand in Gaffer Pykey. "Jimmy LC, get yourself ready, you are going to score the winner" (true story). Jimmy replaced Haysey. And, with yet another superb deep cross from Lukey the ball fell to Jimmy LC at the back stick. A hush on sidelines fell as we waited... YES! With a finish of class Jimmy side footed the winner in the far corner. 2-1, and the first victory of the season.

Glebe had a final push with more long balls but the defence held strong and the final whistle was greeted with many a cheer. How did it take so long to get this first victory? A scrappy one it was but with 2 quality goals and great Curtis save. It was a case of the team who wanted it more. Well done CUFCR. Pagewood look out...

Final score - CUFCR 2-1 Glebe
Attendance - 43 (thanks 1st grade who turned up)
MOM - Phil Link - also mentions to Lukey, Big Nick, Gaz when he came on and Jimmy LC for patiently waiting for his moment.

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Phoenix - 19th June 2010

Coogee 0 Phoenix 0

Location: Beau's back Garden
Line Up: Damo who stole my gloves?, Belch, Jake P I'll take the kit but not wash it, Chris, Gudge, Rob, Jools, Jacko, Jake F I don't want the kit Jake P will have it, Redders, Oran.
Subs: Matty, Phil L, Finchy (I'll leave twenty minutes before the end)

Hard fought match ends in draw

Third placed Coogee were matched up against the self confessed - best amateur team in Sydney. In truth Phoenix boasted a great league record prior to kick off having won 8 from 8, scoring a hatful along the way. After comprehensively beating Coog at Heffron it is fair to say we went into battle much better prepared and focused.

The game was under way and Jacko found himself one on one with big Tom in nets for Phoenix, Jacko had made an excellent late run for Robbie to play him in. The keeper made a good stop and Redders was unlucky not to finish the rebound. Phoenix soon had a clear cut chance to take the lead, Damo making his save of the season and denied their forward from scoring a header, 6 yards out.

The remainder of the half was a close encounter, Coogee's back four and in particular mom Chris was doing a great job on the Phoenix forward line, Belch and Gudg looking steady and Peacock was clearing up all headers and any loose scraps in an effective manner. Jools and the boys across the middle of the park were doing a sterling job in winning their individual battles and supporting the front line. Oran and Redders both tried their luck from distance but no other clear cut chances came about for either side. Half time;

Into the shade, sitting on the soggy grass surrounded by loads of broken glass: John felt the home side were there for the taking and wanted us to push forward and test their keeper out.

Second Half:
The second half Coogee started brightly enough, Oran and Redders both had half chances, Phoenix then had a man sent off after about 57 minutes, the big lump put in a shocking tackle on Robbie. Second Yellow. This seemed to galvanise Phoenix and they made it hard for Coogee to nick that elusive goal after they reshuffled their formation.

Oran looked set to bury a chance but Redders stole his shot which is expected with his recent scoring form. Jools went closest after some great work down the right played him in, Phoenix's keeper making a crucial stop. The home side had 2/3 opportunities themselves Damo was wise enough to stop a couple of shots on goal and Chris was keeping their danger man quiet.

Matty came on and could have stole a winner himself on another day. It was a day (obviously) where one goal would be enough for either team to steal the three points but neither side was going to give anything away and once the whistle sounded, 0-0 was about a fair enough result.

World Cup Wrap Up:
France looking awful and Anelka is sent home economy class (no flight meal) for verbally abusing his strange manager (JD / Rayme duo to address Anelka after tournament). Ireland would have been much better to watch and for the South African bars too. England put in a miserable performance and Rooney immaturely swears at camera (Jim Grantham 07 style). Calls to bin Capello but the FA like his style of glasses, Beckham, Prince Bill and ginger Harry try and lift team as their wage packet is not enough to do this, Jason Markezic enters England changing room illegally seeking Beckhams signature and free bottle of after shave. NZ still in dream land after late goal last week, biggest and best goal in NZ since high profile finish at Mascot 09. Playing champs, Italy on Monday Morn.

Australia hold a Wcup 2010 record, 2 men red carded in 2 matches. Harry Kewell's international career ends in shocking manner, summing up his career in last 5 years. Oz need a miracle now despite brave performance against Ghana who top the group. Germans lose Klose and go down 1-0 to Serbs managed by former Luton Town legend. Cameroon first team out after the great Danes downed them 1-2. USA are still the most annoying team ever despite their 2-2 thriller with Slovenia. Holland beat Japan 1-0 after some more bizarre goalkeeping. The Jabalani / Jubalani (however it is spelt) ball has been confirmed by FIFA as the most talked about and famous ball since 'Wilson' floated away from Tom Hanks in Castaway in aid of a fresh start to life.

- Gudg

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Phoenix - 19th June 2010

Kiwi Jez accused of match fixing after it's discovered he put $1500 on NZ having more points after two games than CUFCR would after half a season.

Starting line-up: Curtis, Silvio, Jappy, Link, Jez, big Jimmy, Hayesy, Hale, Finchy, big Nick
Waiting in the wind: Gaz, Gus, Mahdi, Jimmy and Damo (less gloves)

There was a slightly sombre mood as the Ressies arrived at Paine Reserve. The POMS amongst the team had heads down due to the dreadful performance of their homeland just a few hours earlier. The Aussies were still just down about their team in general but had faith that they would easily take care of the POMS in the Rugby later that night to somewhat put a smile on their faces (insert ending of story here).

Fortunately the sight of Gudge on the sideline gave us the inspiration we needed (any sign of 1st Grade support usually helps) as he doubled the attendance at the Reserve. The warm up was going to plan and Lukey quickly reminded us how we had given the team in green a good going over last time out. If he was ever in doubt the Hokey Cokey movement and rhythm provided the reassurance. If you Google it you will see that Lukey has now officially trade marked this concept. He can be excused for not attending the CBH as he was second in line to the Jabalani discussion at FIFA Aus that night.

CUFCR started very brightly and were camped in the Pheonix half for the early stages of the game. The back line were rarely troubled with the centre pairing of Jappy and Phil taking control of the situation enabling Lukey and Silv to get forward at every opportunity. Lukey and Hale were beginning to ping the crosses in and CUFCR were looking threatening. The midfield were staying tight to the man as instructed and Hayesy was making some great runs to support the front two. Big Nick and Finchy were holding the ball up as well as England's MOM Heskey (last quoted in 2001). A number of half chances went begging with a couple of good saves from their keeper. Kiwi Jez was using $100 notes as shin pads.

As has been the problem with our season so far we didn't convert our chances and were punished as the Phoenix striker did well to get on the end of a scrappy move. Curtis' brave effort to stop it resulted in a hefty collision for the young goalkeeper. And in their second attack (it came from a goal kick) of the game their other striker got on the end of a flick to finish well, lobbing over the top of Curtis. CUFCR 2-0 down having dominated the half... de ja vu. The team were positive at half time and genuinely felt they could get back into the game. Gaz came on for Jez who was immediately seen 'in discussion' with an older man in a long coat which he claimed later to be 'his dad'. Beau was sure he had seen the same man running a book at the AJC a week earlier.

The second half started reasonable well until Phoenix received a free kick after yet another scream from one of their forwards. Big Jimmy told the wall to jump, they did, the ball was somewhat scuffed (under the wall) and sneaked inside the post to put the hosts 3-0 up and all but end the contest. Heads remained held high and CUFC continued to pepper the Phoenix box with not one ounce of luck. Gus came on to the applause of his watching WAG. There is no doubt Phoenix were a reasonable side but 3-0 was no doubt a flattering result. The first victory of the season will not be far away and if the Ressies can show this much passion again on Tuesday night we will hopefully be seeing a new headline to the match reports.

Final score: CUFC 0 - 3 Phoenix

Attendance: 17 including a lively spaniel and the man in the long coat

Attendance at CBH: Poor

MOM: Hale

Post match Match report in bullet point form.
Summed up in the words of Redders (who had a leave pass for the night)
- "I'm going to get hammered".

• 6 MOM jugs between 8 of us
• Gudge being the lucky owner of a ticket at Homebush (turned out alright I believe)
• Curtis checking that everyone is on the case with Mr World
• Dash forgetting the bacon (still part of the discussion)
• Big Jimmy doing his best to sell 2 tickets to the event next Saturday. Sale closed but no hard copy tickets to give them
• Jake ripping off 2 raffle tickets and suggesting we give the girls the raffle tickets and take $20 off them
• Jimmy inviting the girls over to join us. "Which one are you interested in?"
• All back to Jimmy's house (with 1 of the girls in tow) (the scene of many a crime) for Redders to shower.
• Girl irons Redders top for him
• Redders appears from shower half naked and quickly shortens his odds for victory next week
• Jimmy is ecstatic that one of his t-shirts fits Redders
• Brenton Speed Fox Sports News gives the panel of guests his view on the games ahead
• We head to the Cloey with Socceroos scarves on
• Redders buys shots
• The poor girl receives the same treatment as the girl in 'the dress' from the week prior.
• Jimmy claims he would beat a number of the slower CUFC squad in a 100m dash.
• Socceroos score to the delight of all involved
• No memory from the rest of the night other than a number of other players turning up, a few old flames and I'm guessing a few more shots

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Waverley - 14th June 2010

Coogee 4-1 Waverley

Line Up: Damo, Belch, Jake, Chris, Gudge, Robbie 'the unsung hero', Jacko, Jools, Jake Bunch of, Oran, Redders.
Subs: Matty, Phil Link

First Half: Two days later and with very little sleep for most players we found our athletic bodies being called upon again. We faced last season's 6th place Waverley that also made the grand final, amazing story that one. John gave us a pre team talk, team talk. "Simple never play like the Socceroos" - after their 4-0 drubbing saw them replace Jezza's New Zealand as the whipping boys at the worlds premier tournament. Coogee dusted themselves down and got on with taking the game to last seasons finalists. Redders and Oran went close early on and Jools raced through before being crowded out the box, Coogee were looking lively. It wasn't all one sided as Waverley did have a couple of chances themselves but Damon and his back line were generally keeping the opposition at bay.

Jakco and Jools were bossing the midfield and Jake F/ Unsung were getting in behind their respective full backs, Waverley finally cracked after Redders squeezed home from close range, not before both Oran and Jake F had seen their shots blocked. 1-0 Coog. Redders and Oran were giving 'Waves' hell upfront and we went into the break disappointed we were not 2 or 3 up.

In the sheds: The John / Rayme duo delivered a classified speech (I.E I have forgotten)

Second Half: Underway again in this football bonanza of a weekend, a very intelligent throw in from Coogee's left back allowed Oran to skin his man down the left flank and get in behind the navy blue defence and he pulled the ball back for Robbie Unsung to net his second goal of the queens birthday weekend.... Robbie wheeled away in celebration, hold on a second Jools long lost daughter has ruled it out for offside, Robbie is still celebrating.... Jake P/Oran are arguing with the ref who didn't want to be there.... Robbie is still celebrating (in his head he has just won the world cup for Italy), finally some calm and the match gets back underway, Rob appeared devastated, the goal did not count.

Waverley then almost snatched an equaliser but Damo made a great save with his foot to preserve Coogee's lead. Then the rock star Jacko put Redders through one-one with Waves keeper, he rounded him and slotted home with his left peg. 2-0 Coogee. Waverley soon pulled one back, Jools was having a think about Germany's 3rd goal and lost his man who finished well from the edge of the box.

Coogee added a third after a inch perfect free kick came in from form man Redders, Chris rose highest (like Klose) to net his first ever club goal and Coogee's third. The game was well and truly sewn up when Redders saw his strike saved but not cleared from danger, Jools raced in to slot home via the post with his left peg! 4-1 and job well done. Well done to all the boys across both grades for backing up and 6 massive points for the prems, Phoenix next week. Shame about England's frustrating draw and the Australian match was really close until they kicked off, hard luck.

Goals, Redders 24, 67, Chris 77, Jools 80

MOM - Everyone for playing with broken bodies

Attendance - 32 including 17 kids playing on the changing room roofs (reports they had scouse accents, Dash was also spotted up there)

Man of the weekend - Lots of contenders, Jimmy W probably taking out the honours (edging Peacock out) and will share some of his stories with you all in due course.

Honourable Mentions - The Queen and king Gudge for their birthdays, Finchy's return, Jappy for lasting until 6am without being turfed, Redders goals and his pots of tea, Rayme, Belch, Jools $600 defeat in star city, Pickles again for finding the jules rimet in 1966 (RIP Boy), Curtis for drinking out of a tumbler in pizza joint, all German people, Pim Ber Vek and his thinning hair, Mark Bosnich, the young lines-woman. The All blacks. All unsung Heros. The Jubalani ball. Steve Hamner and Hally.

Chumps of the weekend: Jake P for dragging us all to a under 18's rave to watch England's match, Tim Cahill, Rob Green and Algeria's keeper. Actually all socceroos.

P.S Stay tuned for Jimmy Whitefords weekend reports.

Disclaimer - If I missed out any key match moments I apologise in advance, sleep deprivation and far too much booze has played apart in my memory loss.

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Lokomotiv Cove - 12th June 2010

Coogee Prems 3-2 Loko
Location: Heffron Park, Durban, South Africa
Ball: Jubalini

Line Up: Damo, Belch, Jake P, Chris, Gudge, Less Direct Rob, Jools, Jacko, Jake Bouquet, Matty, Redders.
Subs: Oran, Stevie H

With so much excitement and hype around with the world cup 2010 kicking off, it was great to get back on the marvellous Heffron field following three weeks spent in the Light Brigade watching the rain come down amongst other things. Coog were relatively low on numbers with injuries still mounting and Jason in South Africa searching for a possible start with the socceroos.

The game got underway and both sides looked rusty and keen to attack at every opportunity. In a frantic twenty minutes of action Coogee went ahead early on - after some swift passing, Jake F whipped in a deep cross and Redders was on hand to bury home in his new spanking yellow boots. 1-0 Coogee.

Loko pushed forward and Belch was done like a kipper down the right and as a good ball came over, Gudg was caught grass watching allowing the Loko forward to sneak in and head past Damo. 1-1. Coogee responded quickly and took the lead again after Yellow boots Redders skilfully beat his man and put in a dangerous cross that no Coogee players attacked, however the big Loko defender, beautifully planted the ball home with a bullet header into the top corner. 2-1 Coogee.

Jacko had a great chance to put us 3-1 but he hit the post with the goal at his mercy. Loko immediately launched a counter attack and hit our post which rebounded into danger, Peacock hoofed cleared and the score line remained two each. Loko won a free kick 30 yards out. A good delivery was not dealt with properly and Damo in his 'Rob' green' shirt saw the ball squirm under him! 2-2.

Half time. Rayme had the water iced perfectly.

Second Half:
With Coogee attacking against the wind we felt the half would be more challenging, Loko offered very little. Coogee sprayed it around and played some good football creating numerous chances. Oran and Stevie entered the fray in replace of Gudgeon and Groth. Oran and Redders both went close. I was subbed off and do not recall that much more.

What I do know is that the not so direct Robbie netted the winner, charging down the dodgy Keeper (not you Damo) as he went to lump the ball away, he slotted home into the empty net and brought home the three points with his first goal of the season. Belch fluffed a clearance late on and Loko looked destined to equalise but Damo pulled off a top save, diving with agile to palm the ball away. 3-2 game over.

Third Half:
A few of the POMS and some of the Aussies (who seem in love with England's national side) went out to watch England vs USOFA. Jimmy Whiteford has the rest of the match report which runs from roughly Sat 10pm-10am Monday.

Goals - Redders 7, OG, 14, Robbie 72.

MOM - Pickles

Attendance - 21 all with horns.

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Ireland - 15th May 2010

Coogee PL1 0-3 Phogleaverley
Location: A newly carpeted Heffron Park

Phoenix dominate and take all three points

Line Up: Unfamiliar line up for numerous reasons:
(I won't list all the reasons around our absentees like other clubs might)
Damo, Jappy, Jake P, Chris, Gudge, Rob, Jacko, Jools, Jake Flour, Redders, Matty
Subs: Phil L, Dash, Stevie

This week saw third placed Coogee up against the much fancied and early pace setters - Phoenix. Prior to kick off both teams boasted impressive defensive stats, Phoenix had a superior goal scoring record, so the game was set up to be a tasty affair. On arrival at Heffron we were a little unsure of our opponents in truth, some familiar faces of lads from Waverley OB were recognised...... further confusion then kicked in when we suddenly noticed a couple of; what we thought were Glebe players. Maybe Glebe were playing Waverley on the other pitch. Wrong. We were definitely playing Phoenix, there has clearly been some off season transfer activity in the Eastern Suburbs following last season's disappointing end for the Celtic P.

First Half: The game got underway, Coogee were going against a strong wind and we started brightly enough with Redders, Jake F and Jools looking pretty dangerous and lively. Phoenix then came back into the game and started to look sharper, playing some good football in the process and they tested Damo on numerous occasions, our own Irish man made some good stops and was kicking well against the wind. The Coogee back line was strongly holding out, dealing with a lot of difficult crosses and in swinging corners.

Jacko took a whack and had to leave the field injured midway through the half. Another reshuffle requirement didn't help Coogee's cause, Stevie came on and played the left flank which meant Jake F's services were required in centre mid. Redders was working his weapon off upfront alongside Matty. Jools was unlucky not put us 1-0 up after bursting through from centre mid only to see the keeper pull off a good save.

Phoenix began shooting from all over the place but were predominately striking the ball over our goal. Then came a sucker punch on the stroke of half time Phoenix nicked a well crafted goal. The right winger got in behind our left hand side (sorry) and pulled the ball across the box, after a clever dummy from the Phoenix forward confused two more black/white defenders, a green shirt popped up and struck home from 7 yards off the underside of the bar (sure he was relieved not to miss from there) - 0-1.

Half Time: Into the sheds: - The mood was that of disappointment having leaked a goal in the 44th minute but we felt optimistic that we could nick one back playing with the wind. John gave his views, Oran shared his sideline thoughts, Rayme high fived Robbie and Matty gave us a stern talking to, something around card games.

Second Half: Got underway without much to talk about early on, Jake F tried his luck from 20 yards but the keeper comfortably stopped it, Coogee lost their way and Phoenix had a couple of further opportunities which they failed to take. Phil L came on for Matty and Jools moved up top.

Phoenix took a firm grip on the game midway through the second half after winning a loose ball in midfield, quickly releasing their number 10 who slotted home. 0-2. A third goal completely finished Coogee off shortly afterwards, a well taken volley on the edge of the box, Damo got a hand on the ball but couldn't keep it out. 0-3.

It was encouraging to see us play some better and more composed football at 0-3 - despite it being too late to change the outcome of the result. Both Stevie and Redders were unlucky not to get a consolation goal back. Overall Phoenix deserved the win though arguably 0-3 was harsh on Coogee.

Time to regroup this week and focus on who ever we have next weekend.

MOM - Redders closely followed by Roman for being a true club man.
Attendance - Half of Ireland including Alan.

Important 3rd eye: Just because it's winter it doesn't give some players the right to start pulling out such offensive jumpers/cardigans. Villains - Jacko, for wearing a god awful red number, obviously a long standing family hand me down. Jimmy Whiteford, sporting something a 'skinny' 9 year old school girl might squeeze into. Damo, I won't mention your new Lowes shirt you went out on the pull wearing.

A better attendance at the CBH next week please lads.

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Ireland B - 15th May 2010

Coogee United 0 Phoenix 1
Location: Heffron Park

Yet another warm sunny afternoon greeted us at Heffron park for what was a highly anticipated top vs bottom clash. The large crowd of 26 were suitably surprised that despite last year's triumph and 78% of ball possession in 2010 CUFC were stepping on to the field as the latter. Silvio showed his disappointment in the standard of washing powder.

The team to face the irish was formed of; Curtis, the Gaffer, Niall, Belch (doing some work experience in the ressies), Silvio, Jimmy LC, Haysey, Big Jimmy, Hale, Gus and world record (3 packets of Doritos and a Gaytime) new signing Nick. Suitably providing the supporting act were Josh, Jonny and Phillip Link.

Hurricane Charlie had hit Heffron so the toss was an important one to win. I don't know if we did win it but we ended up with the wind at our backs for the first half. As per usual CUFC started brightly and a shell shocked Ireland were struggling to cope with the pressure on their players. The coach was even overheard on the sideline asking some of the English spectators if they had a cousin who knew a dog who was owned by an Irish Grandma, Andy Townsend style.

From number 1-11 (or 18 as our shirts suggest) CUFC were certainly putting in 110%. The defensive 5 had the better of the 2 strikers and winger (who on his own posed the only threat). Even the tall, slow and 'loud' striker was condemned to silence for most of the half. Big Jimmy and Haysey were giving little time to the central boys and Hale and Jimmy were whipping the balls in. Nick was doing a great job holding the ball up and Angus was terrorising the two centre backs with pace. A couple of good opportunities fell from trademark crosses from the left but we couldn't quite hit the mark. Phoenix had the occasional break but Curtis was generally comfortable in his area. The only gasp came as Curtis coolly realised he had plenty of time so let the ball go through his hands just to tease the crowd.

We know from last year that if the Irish don't get their way (we miss you Mark and Alan) that infighting is inevitable. Even our own potato growing centre back struggled to translate some of the 9 year old girly (ask Gudge for more info) screaming that was going on. 0-0 at half time.

Another positive team talk but we knew we were in for a fight in the second half as there was clearly some quality behind the screaming in this Phoenix side. Straight from the kick off CUFC showed their intent and a good ball from Silvio put Nick through. His effort was parried for a corner, good save. It became a battle as Phoenix began to make use of the wind. Their possession level grew but defensively CUFC held strong and some great challenges from the likes of Belch and Silvio generally restricted Ireland to the odd long range effort. A few breaks down the left gave us some half chances but again we couldn't quite find the composure needed in front of goal. Phoenix had a great chance to level. A terrific save from Curtis followed by a glaring miss against the bar provided the only real scare until the inevitable 30 yard lob off the shin gave the visitors a 1-0 lead.

CUFC struggled to create many more chances but most importantly the effort was still there from all involved and heads were again held high. Unfortunately that is how the game finished.

Hard not to credit Phoenix with a good win but it certainly shows that CUFC will not be at the bottom end of this table for much longer.

Result - 1-0 Phoenix
MOM - Silvio
Crowd - 73 by the end of game including special guests Ricky and Curtis' Mum.

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Mascot Kings - 8th May 2010

Coogee 1-0 Mascot Kings
Saturday 8th May, 2010
Location: Heffron far pitch

Coogee win late on, Kings Goalless season continues!

Line Up: Damo and his pulling book, Belch and his still fresh look, Jake P I've had a first aid kit at home for three years John, Chris fcuk the meat raffle, Me, Redders tricks and flicks, Phil T first heffron sniper victim, Jacko pre match sniper victim, Rob I'll play everywhere today, Oran how did the keeper stop that, Matty how do I celebrate a goal.

Subs: Phil Link I'm back, Dasher which grade should I be playing today, Jake Plant (It makes me laugh at least), Steve Hamner I'll sub on my way ref.

Missing: Jas, Jools I'll rescue that little pussy. Roman I think I've fallen for Nadine lads.

First Half: Our first home match of the season was set up perfectly on a crisp Autumn day, warm with clear blue sky. That said the day didn't start off the way Coogee had hoped. Our usual home pitch was closed with the sorry sight of seeing our 12th man undergoing major surgery, yep the official sniper could be gone......forever. The warm up was cut short due to half the team being 25 minutes late, no names mentioned but Oran, Rob, Phil L, Jacko, Jake F and Chris made up some of the guilty parties. The other one was Steve Hamner who had been there watching the ressies, just that he had to pop back home to collect the forgotten and seemingly (un) washed team kit he had taken home for wash.

The game got underway with Coogee spraying the ball from left to right and bossing the Kings all over over the field. The Kings had parked their team bus in front of their goal and were ambitiously looking to play for another exciting 0-0 from kick off, happily kicking the ball away wasting as much time as possible. Coogee soon racked up some goal scoring opportunities, Matty striking just wide, Oran then turning and volleying just wide, the wee Irish man then looked destined to score with his head only minutes later after getting on the end of a fantastic cross from the right - Kings keeper pulled of a miraculous save from literally three yards out ensuring the contest remained even. The Kings produced a couple of half chances themselves channelling everything through their big number 10, Damo made a smart save from a quick free kick which was indirect anyway. After the first forty five minutes we went under the limited amount of tree shade frustrated at 0-0.

Half Time: Oran felt a twinge and handed over his Captains armband & mouth guard for Jake P to take over. Jake F on for Oran and Jake was duly advised by the Welsh ref he had big boots to fill. Hamner was preparing his own entrance at this point. John asked for patience.

Second Half: Coogee kicked on second half and continued to work well down both channels, Mascot offered very little going forwards and it really was clear for all to see why they have failed to score all season. Jake F was battling away upfront determined to break through their 8 defenders as Coogee piled forward looking for that goal. Phil T departed the field with a rolled ankle after chesting down a ball and awkwardly landing in a heffron dip, on came Hamner...... the ref failed to notice at this point.

Errrr in no particular order some highlights followed:

• Redders sent in a flick.

• Gudg then got into some handbags with the slightly odd right winger Mascot had playing.

• Another confusing substitute moment for our 2010 season - Hamner got booked for not telling the ref he had came on 5 minutes prior - an argument started and Hamner suggested the ref ask his lino about his introduction? The young lino nearly ran away in tears before nervously and sheepishly informing the man in yellow that he didn't know Hamner was on. Yellow card stands Stevie.

• Matty got crunched, unfortunately the oppositions 'cruncher' came off worst dislocating his finger and after some DIY medical assistance made things worse he was whisked off to hospital I presume, in some pain.

• Hamner won a good header in the box which was saved.

• Mascot made a rare entrance into our half before their danger man without a goal all season shot over the bar.

• Last two subs; Phil L on for Chris / Dash for Gudge.

• Damo finished off his sophisticated book. What a read.

• Roman arguing with Mascot's keeper about time wasting.

• John offering his job to Gudge.

• Belch picked up a yellow card.

• Redders tried a trick.

Coogee reverted to three at the back and pushed everything forward for last final 15 minutes sensing the Mascot bus would be moved. Jake F cleverly played Jacko in behind Mascot's whole squad, Jacko hit a cross/shot across the face of goal nearly finding a lurking Matty near the back post but even an out stretched leg could not finish yet another chance. Both Rob (who was now in centre mid) and Dash almost got on the end of half chances and it seemed Coogee might need to settle for a point.

Finally the break through in the 87th minute, Jackson launched a free kick forwards where big Phil Link, making his first league appearance this season flicked on a header into the 6 yard box and Matty poked home just avoiding the lino's flag.

Matty charged towards the Coogee faithful - Roman, closely followed by his relieved team mates. 1-0 Coogee.

Funnily enough Mascot then started to show some urgency, Coogee saw out the final few minutes taking home what could be a vital three points come the end of the season.

MOM - Jackson
Goal - Matty 87
Crowd - 18

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Mascot Kings - 8th May 2010

Lasse Viren - Can the Ressies replace Lasse with the greatest sporting comeback?
(Guardian newspaper 2001)

Lasse Viren
Fell in the Olympic 10,000m final only to get up and win gold in a world record time. Munich, 31 August 1972 At the start of the Munich Games, Lasse Viren, a 23-year-old Finnish policeman from the small village of Myrskyla, was not widely known. Indeed, the heats of the 10,000 metres were his Olympic debut. But when he stumbled and fell just before the halfway mark in the final his chance of victory seemed to have gone. The Tunisian Mohamed Gammoudi (who had won the 5,000 metres at the 1968 Olympics) tripped over Viren and gave up two laps later. But the Finnish runner calmly got to his feet and chased his way back into contention, overtaking Britain's David Bedford, the long-time leader, to not only win the gold medal, but set a world record of 27min 38.4sec. Ten days later, he also won the 5,000m (in an Olympic record time) - a double that he repeated in Montreal in 1976.

Now if that doesn't give you inspiration I don't know what will...

More of the same from the Ressies at Heffron on Saturday. Not even a beautifully washed kit from Silvio could inspire us to a victory against a very average Mascot. Players in the changing room looked on in stunned silence as Silvio explained his washing technique... all players note... "You put it in the washing machine, put some powder in the machine and turn it on. When it is done, take it out, hang it to dry, then fold it and place in the kit bag". Silvio clearly has too much time on his hands.

Wee man John boy made an early appearance to take us through the warm up and all was looking good as we took to the field with the following line up...

Curtis, Jappy, Niall, Pykey, Lukey, Gaz, Jezza, Big Jimmy, Hale, Hayesy and Hally. There was ample support on the bench with Little Jimmy, Gus, Silvio (apparently seen smelling a bottle of fabric softener on the sideline) and Dash (apparently).

Plans were thrown into disarray as two early injuries rocked the original line up. Pykey (leg) and Hally (ankle - which turned out to be fractured, we wish you well mate) had to be replaced by Silvio and Little Jimmy making his first appearance up front for 23 years. Mascot failed to take advantage of the changes as CUFC quickly slotted into 4th gear and like previous weeks took charge of possession. Both sides of the park looked threatening particularly Luke and Hale down the left with the gaffer pinging in cross after cross. Still we couldn't find a breakthrough. Both the Jimmy's had great headed chances and should have scored. Surely we could not have another game with 75% of possession and not a victory?

Half Time provided a welcome break from the Heffron heat. Big Jimmy took offence to at least 4 players asking him if he was ok (after them seeing him make one 25 yard run). The gaffer urged us to keep going as we were and something will happen sooner or later. Curtis grabbed a second book (entitled Masterful Tactical Speeches - by BJ Likely) to read for the second half.

We took to the field confident that at least one chance would go our way. We started the half strongly with more passing moves but quickly frustration was starting to grow and to be fair you can't expect any less. Haysey squared up to our defenders and big Jimmy and Hale opted for a hung parliament following their 15 minute positional debate. A few half chances went our way and the keeper pulled off a couple of ok saves to keep Mascot with a lifeline. As the game wore on a few balls were starting to fall Mascot's way and in the blink of an eye one of the strikers hit a great left foot strike into the top corner. Surely it couldn't be happening again...

It did. The end.

We all walked off the pitch with heads down. It was great to see though that after seeing the Hahn Super Dry esky in the distance the gloom quickly turned to happiness as the boys grabbed a beer, had a laugh and realised that it was park football on a Saturday with your mates. It's been a long a time since CUFC Ressies stepped onto the pitch as underdogs. Next week we will against an in-form Pheonix, and we can't wait.

We may have provided Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh for the Kings but Lasse Viren watch out, the Ressies will be back.

Result - 1-0 to Mascot
MOM - Big Jimmy (a very generous give from the gaffer who should have picked himself)
Attendance - 54 (not including Dash, who wasn't there)
Attendance at the pub - Better, even the ref Paul turned up. Shouldn't we be putting $2 in his pocket not the other way around?

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Sydney University - 1st May 2010

Result: Coogee United 4 Sydney University 1

Line Up:
Damo, Belch, Jake, Chris, Gudge, Rob, Roman, Feel the power, Redders, Oran, Jools
Bench: Dash, Matty, Jacko, Jake, Steve
Missing: Jason, Phil Link
 
Another Saturday came around with Coogee looking to gain a third win in four games following last weeks frustrating loss to Pagewood it was important to get back to winning ways. The park we were about to run around on was f-ing horrific. Still the the ref gave us some confidence about the state of the pitch prior to kick off and kindly informed us that he'd seen 3 broken legs in 3 weeks on this field.  I was personally hoping that this 100% record was about to be lost. Anyway Coogee took the game to the Students sporting 'Screech' from teenage hit show; Saved By The Bell in their squad and within 10 minutes took the lead through Oran. Belch picked up the ball and his new look face saw Robbie in space, Robbie pinged in a cross to the near post and Oran taught his defending student a lesson, making a great run into space and heading past the onrushing keeper. 1-0 Coogee.
 
Uni came back at Coogee for their only real spell of the game after the opening goal, though Coogee's back four were generally looking comfortable, Damo made a Hollywood save punching clear a weakish volley for a Uni corner, catching the ball would have been a too boring for the Curley haired Irishman aka Jimmy Bullard. Roman took a whack on his ankle and rolled around squealing a fair bit, still fortunately gaffer John ran across the slopped pitch at a pace of his understudy Luke. John poured some water onto the big Ukrainians ankle which ensured he could play through until half time, it's proven in park football that water can fix pretty much any injury when poured into the 'sweet spot' - amazing.  The Score remained 1-0 at the interval despite Coogee clearly dominating the half in terms of chances and possession. Coogee played some good football and linked up extremely well at times, surely more goals would soon follow.
 
Half Time - Jacko told to sit down, "wee man". Jacko on for an injured Roman, he (Jacko) also received a bit telling off to prepare and motivate him. Bit harsh but the "wee man" is really a big man and had a point to prove.
 
Second Half:
 
Uni looked a shadow of the team that beat us in the ESFA cup 2-1 earlier this season. Coogee pressed and pressed with the front line piling on the pressure and the visitors were finally rewarded with a second goal when Jacko returned a half clearance back towards goal, taking a slight deflection on route. The gaffers motivation had worked!  A third soon followed when a corner came in initially hitting someone and then bouncing off Jools left butt cheek, spinning over the goal line past a bamboozled Keeper. There was a valiant effort to clear the ball off the line from Uni but it just wasn't enough - 3-0 Coogee. Jools was having to convince a few around him he had the final touch. They all count and the dubious goal panel awarded him the goal. At 3-0 Coogee were coasting and introduced both Matty / Jake for Jools / Phil. The students lost their heads and their body language was negative except Screech, yeah Screech was staying strong on the sidelines.
 
Matty and Jake Florist were both putting in decent shifts and with their fresh legs were a real handful for the Uni defence. Stevie and Dash were the final subs to be introduced in the final 15 for Gudge / Belch - who made a solid first appearance of this season whilst driving the female fans wild with his stunning new looks. Matty then got away down the left and fired a deep cross where Oran was waiting to head back across the keeper - 4-0 Coogee. Game over and I was thinking lets get off this cow field as Jimmy W pointed out with 3 points and a clean sheet to boot - fantasy points in mind and a bucks party to attend. Unfortunately Peacock failed to head away a cross allowing Uni a consolation goal which cost the back line their first clean sheet of the season. 4-1 final score.
 
Never thought I'd say it but I cant wait to play at Heffron next week after the Booralee experience.
 
MOM - Oran
Normal Crowd Attendance - 39
Farmers in Attendance - 42

PL Reserves: Coogee United vs Sydney University - 1st May 2010

This match report reminds me of the announcement I usually make before bedroom antics... sorry, it's going to be a short one.

Starting Line Up; Curtis, Beau, Jappy, Pykey, Lukey, Little Jimmy, Jez, Hally, Hale, Angus, Hayesy. Bench - Niall, Big Jimmy, Tall Jimmy, Josh, Gazzer

Having come off a disappointing draw the week previous CUFC were keen to erase those memories and start the season again. It would be easy to blame the pitch and the ref for another lacklustre performance and it would be fair to say they definitely contributed to the result but the time has come now for the Ressies to step a gear.

Some defensive errors led to Uni taking the lead but CUFC actually came back into the game quite well. Haysey hit the post after a good run from Hale. Then came the talking point of the first half when Haysey / Angus made good runs into the box and Haysey was fouled OUTSIDE the box by the last man that was the keeper.

The ref summed up his total match performance by awarding a yellow card instead of red but also a penalty. Even with my maths... that doesn't add up. Hale slotted the penalty into the bottom corner in the true style of a man hungry for bonus fantasy points. 1-1 at half time.

We started the second half (first 10 mins) in a positive fashion and looked to have a hold on the game. Frustrated by the left winger's diving / late challenges and to be fair a bit of skill, challenges were starting to fly in. Lukey asked big Jimmy if his tackles got a later plane back from Melbourne after a yellow card.

Uni grabbed two quick goals which seemed to take the life out of CUFC in the fear that another poor result was coming. Attitudes all over the pitch were generally poor with only Angus (and Josh when he came on) showing some drive to get us back in the game.

Some older wiser heads on the team (I think that includes me) didn't step up to the plate. This won't happen again.

A similar start in season 09 and we still came back to win the minor premiership so let's focus this week and show our intent next Saturday.

Result: 3-1 Uni
MOM - Angus
Crowd - 37 plus 5 cows and 27 sheep who had been asked to leave the field prior to the game.

PL Reserves: Pagewood vs Coogee United - 24th April 2010
Venue: Jellicoe Park
Coogee United 1 Pagewood 1

Anybody watching this game would be asking the question... Is there now corruption within the ESFA? So much was the quality in favour of CUFC but without the end result.

Starting Line Up of; Curtis, Silvio, Chris, Pykey, Jappy, Hale, Jimmy x 2, Jez, Hally and Hayesy with another strong bench in Niall, Jimmy LC, Angus, Josh and Beau.

After a stirring effort at the hokey cokey the team were quick to take on board the gaffers call for quality passing football with countless 20+ combinations. Majority of play was down the left flank with Silvio and Hale gifted more space than the Star Wars trilogy. It actually was like watching R2D2 and C3P0 reek havoc. You do the maths...

The four defenders lead the passing masterclass and Chris at times seemed to be playing further forward than either Jimmy. Little Jimmy and Hally threatened every time they were on the ball while big Jimmy just marshalled the usual 20m sq area in front of Pykey.

Cross after cross came in from the flanks but we struggled to find the killer strike despite Haysey and Hally having the measure of their defenders. It looked like it was going to have to be a moment of class/luck to put us ahead. Hale picked up another ball down the left and from 25yds let the left peg do the damage, straight into the top right corner.

Coogee seemed to react badly to the goal perhaps with the perishing thought of having to deal with Hale after the game. The midfield provided less options and as a result the passing game had a wee pause. Unfortunately their wee striker was able to nip in with their only through ball of the game, bounce off Pykey and get a shot on goal, 1-1. Our exhibition match took a turn for the worse.

No panic in the sheds as the wind and all the quality was in our favour for half 2. Jimmy LC on for Jimmy ensured the ref and opposition were confused.

It was a story of same again... plenty of possession, shots and domination but still no goals. Niall, Angus and Josh entered the game all making an impact. Niall took over where Silv left off, Josh took on the whole defensive line in a fight and Angus slotted in to his unfamiliar right back role by taking the mark of the year, better than anything you will see at the SCG this year.

Hale provided the highlight of the half again (painful to say it) with a rasping reaction volley after a cleared corner (claims from the watching 1st grade that it was a cross were harsh) which the keeper saved brilliantly.

Some real positives from the game but a slightly wasted opportunity against very average opposition. Still, a point on the board and more to follow soon without doubt.

Final score 1-1
MOM - sorry, I didn't make the pub so can someone confirm it wasn't Hale?
Attendance - 69 (naturally) and that includes Curtis who was officially a spectator in this game.

PL 1st: Pagewood vs Coogee United - 24th April 2010
Venue: Jellicoe Park
Coogee United 0-1 Pagewood

'Plucky Pagewood Steal Points'

Line Up: Damo the voice, Rob, Jake P the hood is back, Jas PWC have already brain washed me, Gudg, Redders I'd better spend some more time on this fantasy league spreadsheet, Phil the power, Roman I look like sonic boom Gile, Stevie H, Oran why are you wearing a mouth guard, Jools

Subs: Chris G, Jake Daffodil-Lilly, Matty I keep myself to myself thanks, Dash I'm a creative and defensive midfielder.

Injured or missing: Phil black Cankle Link, Belch I'm undergoing further facial surgery, Jacko

The Coog rocked up to Jellicoe Park in a confident mood following last weeks sound win. Jellicoe - historically a difficult place for Coogee to pick up a result for some reason. It must be the long grass (even compared to Heffron) or the Pagewood army singing strange sing songs after a beer each or that sloped pitch or their kit being really dated or their sheds being so far from the pitch meaning you are exhausted by the time you arrive on the pitch! Anyway onto a lack lustre first half and 3rd game in six days. Even Romans hair wasn't up for it 1st half.

The first half saw Coogee dominate most of the possession without creating any clear cut chances despite Redders, Steve, Oran and Jools all having a go. Phil the power Taylor threw a couple of unusually inaccurate shots goal wards after some good work. The back four and Crazy fish Damo dealt with Pagewood lumping balls forward in hope one of their 'runners' upfront might get on the end of any scraps.

With Coogee rarely being threatened all half both Rob & Gudg were able to get forward on several occasions supporting the wingers. Other first half talking point - Pagewood's big centre half lumped Jools after being left for pace again forcing Jools to labour on until half time with a bowling ball attached to the back of his leg.

Second Half: A few changes were made, Jake F. on for an injured Jools and Matty for Roman with Oran dropping into the middle.

Second half was much the same in terms of possession. Coogee created more than their opponents but just could not score, Jake F. narrowly missed a couple of chances after making some intelligent runs, Coogee pinged in dangerous crosses from both flanks at a rapid rate and Matty was unlucky on a few occasions not to find the net. Coogee won a numerous amount of corners and frustratingly failed to convert.

Pagewood scored with about 10 minutes of play left, after Coogee failed to clear their lines at least twice Pagewood hit the inside of the post and the ball bounced kindly into the path of another Pagewood player who couldn't miss.

Dash came on for Jake P. late on in an attempt to rescue a point as Coogee piled forward and we actually should have been credited an equaliser when young Jakes header was hacked away but the ref adjudged the ball not to be fully over the line, Jake will tell you differently so I believe him........ definitely.

Sydney Uni next up. Lets train hard this week and put on a stronger performance next weekend.

Crowd - 99
MOM - Gudg with vital fantasy points

PL 1st: Coogee United vs Dunbar
Venue - The sought after Coogee Oval
Coogee 4 Dunbar 1

Coogee spanked the reigning champs 4-1 in a first ever 'official' football match at the Oval - well if you fail to include the backpackers playing there throughout most of summer.

Despite rumours flying around that Dunbar just needed to show up for the 3 points (just rumours surely) a decent crowd turned up on a sunny day, Dunbar started brightly as expected. Coogee soon dusted away any cobwebs and started getting hold of the ball.

In the middle of the park - Roman & Phil began playing some good football. The wingers, Redders, his red boots & sunglasses on, Stevie and his short legs that really motor were getting in behind their fullbacks, Coogee were now looking a serious threat moving forward.

In the 18th minute of play Redders swung a corner in, Dunbar failed to clear properly, both Roman & Peacock were awaiting any scraps..... Peacock got there ahead of any silky White/Blue/sparkling Pink shirts (oh yeah and Roman) took it on the knee and shot goalwards .... the keeper got a hand to it but could only help it in and Peacock join the top goalscorers list, 1-0 Coogee. Must have been the venom behind the shot which caught the big keeper out.

The Coogee back four were now settled and looking solid despite some poor touches in the early stages from both fullbacks! Oran and Jools were becoming more and more involved in the game at this point. A great move soon followed. Our pro darts player Phil 'the power' Taylor found Jools who laid it out wide to Gudge - a deep, peachy, gorgeous looking cross came in (like that one Jezza?), Oran beat Popey in the air again despite the significant height difference, Redders was on hand to drill home into the far corner 2-0 Coogee. Sweet finish from the new fans favourite.

Dunbar in fairness continued to play some good football and Damo made a decent stop which spilled out in the box, fortunately Coogee cleared their lines to preserve the lead. Oran then played Jools in behind his defender, he raced away to slot home a tidy goal and open up his account for the season, 3-0 Coogee. Dunbar were looking shell shocked.

As half time approached Dunbar's number 9 headed wide when free, meaning Coogee had round one well and truly sewn up. Roman picked up a yellow, I can't recall why but I am guessing he floored someone!

In the Sheds: Unlike Heffron we had lights that actually light up a room, plenty of hangers for Phil L, a massage bed for Hale's benefit being run by a guy called Tim. Over to gaffer John who demanded more of the same next half, no changes, plenty of water lads on a warm day. Some more words followed but sadly our translator - Gaz Arnstein was sunning himself outside.

Second Half

Dunbar continued to have plenty of possession but Jas/Jake stopped their forwards creating too much, they became predictable playing everything down their left side. Redders/Robbie simply tagged up snuffing out any danger, Coogee soaked up the pressure and mounted numerous counter attacks which seemed to end with the Lino's flag going up.

Roman's final contribution was wiping out a pink shirt in our box - Penalty. Damo got a hand to it, clocking up 10 valuable fantasy league points only for their frustrated penalty taker to react first to the rebound. 3-1.

Roman went off for Jacko and Stevie for 'young Jake' - a former Dunbar trainee. It was only a matter of time before our front line cracked them on the break, Oran put Jools in one-one, he coolly rounded the keeper and slotted home his second goal of the day. 4-1 and game over, thanks for coming.

Dunbar crumbled in the last ten and Coogee could have added at least one more goal, young Jake missing a cross all together, Jacko chipped the ball straight into the keepers arms when through in acres of space. Dunbar almost pulled one back but Gudge hacked away off the line, Matty Groth came on for the final five despite playing 90 mins on Saturday. Jake got wiped out by a young Dunbar forward and that is all I can recall.

Great win, great day for the club securing 5/5 wins and raising over $3,000 for charity.

Special Mentions:
Dash/Phil Link - unfortunate not to get a run, good attitude.
Chris - Helped with the net midway through second half
Damo - Randwick Rugby Club, demonstrated what a wonderful voice he has.
Tony/Muz/Ralph/lots of the women's team that organised a great day all round
All other supporters and helpers
My mrs

MOM - Jake P
Goals - Jake P 18, Redders 26, Jools, 35, 78
Crowd - 301

Team: Damo, Robbie, Jake P, Jas, Gudge, Redders, Roman, Phil T, Stevie, Jools, Oran
Subs: Jacko, Phil L, Jake F, Dash, Matty

PL Reserve Grade: Dunbar vs Coogee United - 17th April 2010

Heffron Park
Dunbar 2 Coogee United 0

On a frightfully pleasant April afternoon Coogee Utd reserve grade arrived to a wonderfully groomed (even better than Jason Markezic) Heffron Park for the first home game of the season.

We then found out it was actually an away game, well, sort of, but it was on our home pitch, well, sort of, but it was on the next door pitch so it was actually an away game although we thought we were on our home pitch but Glebe were playing as well but we were playing Dunbar at home but they were the home team. Anybody confused?

More chaos was to come... Luke announced that all those on the bench would have the job of putting the nets and flags up. 15 very keen players looked at each other, all thinking that they could have the job, but who was on the bench? Jez and Silvio were just thinking "How am I going to reach that high?" The starting line up had not actually been named yet so it was a case of guess work...

Reserve Grade Squad -
Nick 'We should play 2 left wingers on that size pitch' C, Craig 'I've got a few Central defenders worried' S, Luke 'I'm never leaving Gudge in charge again' D, Niall 'Backpacker' O, Gary 'Come and sit with me' A, Jimmy 'I have definitely lost weight' W, Daniel 'Honest Advice' H, Jeremy 'Wanna see some naked pictures of girls?' M, Nathan 'I can play two positions' H, Matty 'I wish Hally would just play upfront with me' G, Daniel 'That's my 1st challenge ref...' P, Silvio 'Is that a booster seat in your car?' M, Angus 'I will not be corrupted to come out' B, James 'Pre-season = parties' LC, Mahdi 'Best dressed naked', James 'Of course the place in Byron that we destroyed will have us back' G

With a 4,5,1 formation CUFC were quick to take charge of the midfield area but despite some well worked moves from the back struggled to penetrate the typically solid Dunbar line. Craig and Pykey were looking assured against a new looking Dunbar strike force and Silv and Luke had the pace (yes Luke) to cope with their wingers.

After a pre-match call to hit hard and fair early it's fair to say that some of our feisty players took it to heart, well at least the hit hard and early part. Jezza yet again managed to find the biggest guy on the park to start a fight with and picked up a yellow. Gazza, Pykey and Craig having arrived at about 6pm into their tackles received the same treatment. At one point it looked like we may be heading down to the CBH prior to half time.

Standout chances fell to Gazza and Hale in the first half but unfortunately a row X finish and good save from the keeper respectively denied us a lead. Dunbar were the better team in the first half and missed a glorious headed opportunity to take the lead.

The pressure was coming as they quickly learnt that the 'big' guy playing defensive midfield never crosses the halfway line. Gazza was determined to prove them wrong. Somebody (who will remain nameless, because I can't remember) gave away a free kick about 26.8 yards out. A good strike from the ginger wizard forward went through the legs of roughly 4 defenders and found the bottom corner. 1-0 at half time to DR.

It was quickly decided at half time that we had done a lot of hard work against the wind and there was a huge opportunity to come back into this game. Potentially an opportunity to make a few tackles on time was also pointed out.

A much more positive start to the half with Dunbar pinned back for the first 20. Their big (and now fair to say older) boys at back did a good job to prevent any real chances despite Matty running himself ragged and the occasional appearance of another CUFC player past the halfway line.

Jimmy had a couple of long range efforts, one of which flew just past row X and Y firmly into Z (very unusual from this quality player who scores most weeks... ahem). Jezza went down injured (rumours of the first sniper points of the year) to be replaced by Jimmy LC and then the tired old legs of Gazza and Jimmy were replaced by the tired old legs of Jimmy and strangely three legs in Mahdi.

Our touchline 'manager' Gudge must have been writing his MC speech for Mr Coogee as he brought back memories of last season's substitution horrors. The ref quickly informed him that if you are going to bring a player on the pitch, someone needs to go off. Despite a new formation of 3,2,5 the fresh legs continued to put pressure on DR but as we tried to steal an equaliser.

The counter was our downfall. Dunbar made it 2-0 late on for what was to be a fair & deserved victory. Much more positive than the shambles of wk 1 and with some hard work this week a good victory is not far away.

I have a feeling revenge wouldn't be far away with the 1st grade game tomorrow.

Score - Dunbar 2-0 CUFC

MOM - Pykey (Standouts to be mentioned - Craig, Hally, Jimmy LC when he came on and Matty who would have won the Gatorade KM watch)

Attendance - 86 (if you include the other home/away/home game and the dog that came on for 13 minutes of the Glebe game) (apparently somebody mentioned there were quite a few 1st grade players not present, I didn't notice it so won't mention anything)

- Report by James Whiteford